Whats a Gazelle Gotta do to Get Eaten Around Here?

I was recently invited to a party where a married someone said to me, "I heard there was going to be one single person here and I had hoped it was you!"

Yay?

Welcome to 2013!

So anyway, I was walking with a group of colleagues on break today and as it happens I was speaking with one of the men in the crowd. An older fellow who was telling me about his weekend which involved a great deal of toing and froing for his elderly mother.  "How awesome!" I said, "that you're doing that. a lot of guys I know wouldn't be so attentive to their moms its usually left to the daughters.:"

"Well Im an only child so I'm it." he replied with a less than enthusiastic tired smile.
We fell on silence for a moment as I tired to find something else to say. It was still a good thing he was doing, but well, it seemed cloying to point that out.  after a few steps he added
"I heard that women like guys who take care of their moms."

well that answered that question I had wondered off and on over the years-- he was interested in women--

"Why yes they do!"

"...but I haven't met one of those women yet..."
"You know you have the power over that-- you have to ask them!"
"Oh but its scarrrry out there."
which led to a brief conversation about him being the hunter gatherer and that he needed to hunt and gather. That the deers can't serve themselves up for him

adding --

"get out there! A gazelle who prances into a pride and says eat me eat me!  the lions all look at and turn up their noses, saying there's something wrong with that one I don't want it-- and says to the gazelle lets just be friends"

He laughed nervously at that and didn't continue.

poor little lion. all he wanted was a walk and Im sure he was thrilled that in just a hundred yards it would be done.